Meanwhile Lenny is busy with his photographic endeavors, using my phone to take 100 blurry and poorly lit pictures of his toes, chin selfies, Carolina's hair bow, and several thousand up-close shots of the weave of my bed sheet. Because, "I like white." I wonder what he sees when he scrolls through the fruits of his experimentation. He takes a picture of his pillow pet, the back of it, mind you, not the face, and he says, "Oh, yeah. That's good." I'm so happy that he's creating art for his own sake and not for the approval of me or anyone else.
Now I've been requested to take pictures of the farm animals poking through the holes of the tent, and I have to show them to Lenny for approval. He was none too happy at Carolina's little fingers trying to grab the goat and ruining the composition.
And D.J. Mixmaster is walking around with her usual headphones around her neck, laying some sick beats by slamming toys on the table and adding in some vocals where she just repeats the words "Paw Patrol". A few high pitch screams complete the track.
Now I'm off to make lunches and get a work out at the same time by wearing my leg weights- one slightly larger and about twelve pounds heavier than the other. Can't go into the kitchen without them tracking me down. Love them! One day they won't need to hang on me while I make lunch. One day they won't even want to. My heart.
Sometimes when people talk about being in the present, they act like you should forget the past and ignore the future. But you need that big picture to enjoy the now. To see your children as infants and not mourn the babies you'll never see again, but to enjoy the pleasures of your life together now as it wasn't back then. And to see your children as adults and not grieve for the childhood you'll never get back, but to be able to cherish it even more now. It's bittersweet to look at the past and future, but without it there is no present moment, and no understanding of just how precious each moment now truly is.
It's easy to keep that big picture in mind when life with kids is cute and sweet and wonderful. Not so much when the kids make each other cry, or make me cry, or when I make them cry. But, I'm working on it.